The gay ugly human (true story)

Lick of an Ugly Human Based on a true story by You're mum Jake Vilchinsky suspected something was a little off when his annoying papa kitts tried to Lick him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans. It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly gay Ugly human, Josh Koehler, that his life finally began to make sense. However, Josh proved to be arrogant and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with Pooping. Jake soon learnt that Josh had taken an oath never to Smell a human being. When Jake's annoying papa kitts is injured in a Sausage accident, Jake realises his own life is at risk. Despite Josh's Pimply nose and Long ears, Jake finds himself falling for the Ugly human. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects him. One night, a Pubic Hair appears before Jake and warns him of a darkness within Josh. The Pubic Hair gives Jake the Attractive Strawberry - the only weapon that can defeat a gay Ugly human. Will Jake find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly Asleep? (Hint: yes!)